User blog:Kittiaraeng.eli/Clare
"To Hell with The Lord!" Her father bellowed. "I'm miserable, what has The Lord done for me?!" He demanded of Clare. "He died for you! he loves you! Why can't you do what He asks?" Clare asked, crying. Her mother put an arm around her and pulled her in so Clare was crying on her chest. "Clare honey, sometimes, The Lord just doesn't understand what it's like to be in our kind of siituations." Her mother tried to explain. Clare jerked away and backed up quick. "He went through an entire life just to know the pains we suffer everyday! How can you say that about Him?" Clare demanded. "Look" Her father said, fed up with the entire conversation. "I'll do what I damn well please Clare, there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it." "FINE!" Clare screamed. "Then I'll do whatever I want no matter how you feel about it!" Clare screamed. She ran to her room and fell on her bed, crying with all her might, her soul slowly making a damp and salty exit. Clare, finally worn out from the run and the crying, fell asleep. The next day, she felt sick. Not because she had a flu, but all the overflowing emotions just left her drained and feeling a little unstable. She got ready for school in a daze, walking through the house, ignoring her father completely. When she was ready, she went out onto the stoop top wait for Eli to come get her. He was there shortly and she got in. They said their good mornings, and were off to school. All throughout the day she thought. Jess tried to talk to her, but Eli and Adam were standing on both sides of her, walking her from class to class, to avoid any more Jess drama at school. It was a good thing they were there, because several times, Clare nearly ran into things or over things, due to how deep in thought she was. There had to be something she could do. Something big to make them understand how she felt. She had to do something they would never agree to in a million years. By the end of school, she had an idea. She was unsure about it, and extremely embarassed at the thought, but she had made up her mind. She was going to do it. After school, Eli drove her home as usual. "Instead of taking me home, can we go somewhere? Just the two of us?" Clare asked, looking at him. He glanced at her, then brought his eyes back to the road. "Sure thing" He said. He took a left and they drove for a little while. They park at the edge of a lake, and he took her hand, leading her up a small path, clearly not used very often. They got to a small clearing, with a view of the lake through the trees. "This what you had in mind?" He asked. "It's beautiful" She said in awe. He sat down and motioned for her to join him, so she did. Eli was curious as to why Clare wanted to be alone, but he figured things were just overwhelming at the moment, and if that wasn't it, she'd tell him in time. He was just turning to say something to her, when she suddenly kissed him. It was a strange kiss, unlike any other kiss they had. It seemed to have 'implications' to it. Clare's hand began to roam over his chest and then suddenly down. Her hand was on his belt by the time he was able to think clearly. He quickly pulled away putting a hand on her shoulder to keep her at bay. "Clare, what are you doing?!" He asked in astonishment. "Isn't this what people in love do?" She asked coyly, reaching for his belt again. He quickly stood up and took a few steps back. "Clare what's gotten into you? Let's talk about it, what's going on?" He asked. "Nothing Eli" Clare said exasperated. "Don't you want me?" She said, beginning to look hurt. "Clare I love you, but neither one of us is ready for that" Eli said. Clare suddenly looked close to tears. "It's because you want Jess isn't it!" She demanded, looking away. "Clare!" Eli said exzasperated. "I thought we settled this!" "If you wanted me and no one else, you'd do this with me" She said, refusing to look at him. Eli crouched down beside her and put a hand on her cheek, turning her head to look at him. "Clare, I love you, and only you. I want you and only you. When the time is right, we can do this. But right now just isn't the time. For either of us." He said gently. Clare was humiliated. And hurt. She knew she wasn't ready, but had wanted to do it anyway. And Eli was a guy! Weren't guys supposed to want it all the time? But of course, not Eli. I'm just not good enough, Clare thought sadly. "Fine Eli" She said. She quickly got up and brushed herself off, and walked to the car. By the time he caught up, she was already inside, buckled up. "Clare, I'm sorry. Please don't be angry at me." Eli said. Eli felt terrible. Like his heart had frozen and was being smashed to bits with a tiny hammer. Clare wouldn't even look at him. When they got back to her house, she just got out, no word of good-bye, not even a glance in his direction. "Damnit" Eli muttered. Category:Blog posts